At the risk of my Man Card...

Where and when was it written that men were either incapable or unwilling to be in touch with their emotions, to be sensitive and caring, or to be able to express themselves openly about such topics as intimacy, relationship insecurities, and aspirations about romance?  Who actually subscribes to the malarky that, if you're a guy, that gene simply doesn't exist in your DNA?  And why is it that the very women who claim and complain that men are incapable of demonstrating or revealing these sensitivities are the very same ones that run for the hills when they encounter a sensitive guy?  Something is amiss...

So a few revelations (fellas, pay attention).  I'm a sucker for a good romantic comedy - I enjoy them, always have.  Billy Crystal and Debra Winger, Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, John Cusack and (insert actress here) - you know the movies I'm referring to.  Amelie, Roxanne, Sabrina; Serendipity, Sleepless, Forget Paris - these are movies that elevate the heart and demonstrate cinematically the potential in all of us to seek and find a soulmate and together enrich each other's lives.  Yes, I realize it's Hollywood and yes, I understand that life doesn't emulate the movies.  But are you honestly expecting me to believe that you haven't daydreamed or fantasized about falling in love the way these films depict?

Let me bring this dangerously personal.  I was married at 22 and divorced at 26.  Without going into all the gory details, the divorce was extremely hurtful and adversely impacted my desire to love openly and completely for quite some time.  Because I was unwilling to trust, I chose not to date, instead throwing myself into work and other pursuits.  In truth, I was afraid - fearful of getting hurt like that again, scared of being unable to recover emotionally a second time.  And we're not talking a few months or even a year or two; I didn't actively date for about nine years!!  Do the math and you realize I missed my 20s and early 30s with all the possibilities of amazing romance and a whole slew of potential soul mates.  Tick tock...tick tock...   : )

I had about a decade of missed time and opportunities all bottled up which probably made me a threat to myself and a danger to others.  And, unfortunately, my first attempts at dating left a few victims (sorry to those that know who you are - it wasn't you; it was all me).  But despite the lost time and in spite of the challenging marriage and dating attempts, the romantic in me has remained.  I don't care what people intimate - I want the fairy tale.  I need the fireworks, the moment where my breath is taken away, where I meet someone and for the first time in my recorded history, am at a loss for words (that would TRULY be apocalyptic).

I've been back in the dating world for about six years.  I've had the chance of meeting a number of very interesting, attractive women (again, you know who you are...).  Most (not all) are surprised by how openly I articulate my feelings on relationships and intimacy - to the point of discomfort.  Apparently, they are unaccustomed to a guy that's as open and expressive with his feelings, that chooses to postulate on feelings of the heart.  I must have missed the chapter in the ManCard Playbook - where only grunting, burping, and discussing power tools, ESPN, or the rack on the hot Hooters waitress is tolerable...  And I'm totally cool with that...

I can't imagine I'm the only guy that's like this.  I can't believe that I'm the one romantic in a sea of testosterone-laden, shark-infested manhood.  But, even if I am, I have no intentions of changing my behavior, of pretending to be or feel something I'm not.  The RomComs will continue to be a source of inspiration and longing (c'mon, Nicholas Sparks - do your worst); the hopes of being awe-struck by an amazing woman and wanting to sweep her off her feet, send her flowers, make her laugh, love her with all of me - these interests and desires are an important aspect of my DNA.  I could no sooner discard the mantle of "corporate recruiter" or "father" than I could abandon my proud label, "hopeless romantic".

So, ladies, be so kind as to pick a lane!  You claim you want sensitivity, passion, romance.  Make good on that claim and continue to positively encourage those few men like me that seek the same things.  Cultivate and nurture whatever is at the root of it and hopefully it will germinate and spread to more and more men over time.  Fellas, don't be afraid to raise your hand and declare your sensitivity, your romantic side.  Laugh a little when 'The Proposal' is on television, and know that it's okay to get "eye-condensation" during the emotional parts.  You won't spontaneously combust or melt away - promise!

The world's women truly want an emotionally confident guy?  Prove it...