The power of personal branding...

The concept of brand or branding seems to dominate our professional and social culture these days.  Everywhere you turn there's an article or a book or a keynote preaching the importance of brand - establishing your brand, strengthening your brand, protecting the brand, etc.  Doubt the validity of its importance?  Well, simply close your eyes and picture an apple logo or swoosh symbol and ask yourself what else comes to mind?  Ask yourself what products you envision while pondering that particular apple or swoosh?  What adjectives would you associate with those products?  Doesn't take much effort to realize that the concept of brand can be a pretty powerful thing.

I co-facilitated a training session with several colleagues (Heather and Jill, I still have fond memories) and wanted to share several points from that training content in addition to some of my own research. The American Marketing Association dictionary defines brand as "a name, term, design, symbol, or any other feature that identifies one seller's good or services as distinct from those of other sellers."  Historically, the term originated from the Old Norse word, brandr meaning "to burn" as exemplified by ranchers who literally put their mark on cattle, some of our earliest brand champions.  Consider the words of Scott Bedbury, an immortal in the advertising world for his concept of "Just Do It" (Nike) and the rebranding of Starbucks:  "A great brand taps into emotions.  Emotions drive most, if not all, of our decisions.  A brand reaches out with a powerful connecting experience.  It's an emotional connecting point that transcends the product."  As you think of several corporate brands near and dear to your heart, do they succeed in tapping into your emotions?  Positively or negatively?  And how likely are you to change your mental or emotional perception of that entity?

The evolution of several popular brands...

I'd like to spend a few minutes and talk specifically about the responsibility and power that each of us has in the most important brand of all - that of our personal/individual brand.  A personal brand is essentially our reputation, the way in which we are perceived by others, the summation of adjectives, descriptors, and emotions that are conjured up when our name is mentioned in conversation.  How am I perceived by others: smart, lazy, arrogant, sarcastic, dare I say....restless?  What do I stand for?  What are my convictions, core values, and principles and are they reflected in my thoughts, words, and actions?  In the long-term, what will others say about me when I'm gone?

Dare to be different - to stand out in a crowd...

I found a great article on WikiHow that provides a step-by-step plan for creating a personal brand.  You can find it here... How to Build Your Personal Brand.  Several of the steps that really stood out to me were: set goals for your public image; keep your brand fresh; be ubiquitous without over-reaching; and get people talking.  I would also add that a personal brand possesses many elements: your personal brand as a parent, a child, a sibling, a citizen, a colleague, a friend.  It's important to think about your individual identity and reputation through each of these lenses as all of them play a crucial role in how you're perceived.

Another important observation is the interconnection between our personal brand and our professional careers, not to mention the impact personal brand can play in impacting a corporate brand, an employment brand, etc.  In our role as employees, our personal brand can't help but be reflected in the perceptions made by others who see us as the "face or voice of the organization."  It's inevitable.

What will be written here?

I'm taking the time to self-assess my personal brand.  To better understand how I'm perceived by those around me - the people closest to me.  And to make certain the personal brand perceptions I have for myself are consistent with the views and opinions of those I care about.  Some elements I'm concentrating on include: personality, dependability, passions, values, hobbies/interests, and the features/qualities that distinguish me from others.  It's been a healthy and eye-opening exercise so far - one I encourage you to try.

I'll end with some personal favorite quotations on the subject.

“Branding demands commitment; commitment to continual re-invention; striking chords with people to stir their emotions; and commitment to imagination. It is easy to be cynical about such things, much harder to be successful.” - Sir Richard Branson

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” - George Bernhard Shaw

“Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken”. - Oscar Wilde

How fairy tales and romantic comedies destroyed me...

For those of you that have followed my blog from the beginning, you'll recall that a number of my earlier posts focused on relationships and dating, or more specifically, the fact that I wasn't in a relationship and was therefore navigating (and sarcastically opining on) the world of adulthood dating.  For those of you that enjoyed those earlier explications on this often awkward topic - read on...you're in for a treat!

I've had some terrific relationships with some amazing women over the past several years.  I've even fallen in love a time or two - something I honestly thought I was no longer capable of following my divorce sixteen years ago.  And yet here I am - 42 years old - still single and searching.  And it's okay because I know exactly why I find myself in these particular circumstances - AND I know who or what is responsible for my predicament.  My attempts at a long-term relationship have failed and romantic comedies are to blame!  Allow me to explain...

I think I've known I was a hopeless romantic since childhood.  While most young boys were likely fully engulfed with sports, cowboys and indians, and weekend cartoons - I also enjoyed the stories used at bedtime or on long road trips that concentrated on romance and true love.  Damn you, Walt Disney and Hans Christian Andersen!  Snow White, Cinderella, the Little Mermaid, the Princess and the Pea - my earliest programming about love was shaped by these stories and my dreams involved many of these characters with me as the hero.  That's right, readers - I wanted the fairy tale.

Fast forward and this same affliction has been compounded with wave after wave of Hollywood daggers: Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail, When Harry met Sally, Serendipity, Must Love Dogs, High Fidelity, Amelie, Say Anything, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Sabrina, Notting Hill, Two Weeks' Notice...  Essentially, the fairy tales from my youth have been coupled with newer tales, now starring Meg Ryan, Julia Roberts, Andie McDowell, and Kate Beckinsale.  And while my brain recognizes that these are fictional stories involving fictional characters living in fictional worlds, somewhere along the way I forgot to remind my heart and so it continues to want the fairy tale.  And it remains convinced that nothing less will do.

Now I recognize that life isn't a fairy tale and that the reality of relationships involves sacrifice, hard work, commitment to compromise, etc. and I'm completely on board with all of those things.  As stated above, I've met some amazing women and had terrific relationships where all of these concepts were put into practice.  And yet, up until now, there was always an element missing.  Something that I found difficult to define, describe, or explain - but clearly missing.  Let's call it the "X Factor" - the little switch in your head that says it's time to stop looking, the person you've found is all you're ever going to need.  Well, my X Factor has remained in the "off" position in most of my relationships, or has been abruptly turned back off for a variety of factors (some other blog entry some other time...).  And I'm going to remain single until I find the woman that succeeds in emotionally fulfilling that X Factor, putting my switch in the "on" position, and then locking the door to my heart where that switch can be found.  And, upon reflection, I'm convinced that my personal X Factor is that feeling of attraction, fulfillment, and recognition of one's soul mate as depicted in the fairy tales and romantic comedies that helped shape my definition of love; the result of hours spent daydreaming about having my own personal fairy tale, my own individual romantic comedy.  It can't be faked, it can't be manipulated, and it can't be duped.  And I want it.  And I need it.  And nothing less will do.

 So, as I see it, one of two things is going to inevitably happen.  On the one hand, I'm going to continue searching and exploring for my opposite number in the romantic comedy of my life, dreaming and hoping that I find the perfect foot for my glass slipper.  And my search will last a lifetime because the reality is that love and relationship wasn't ever really intended to work that way.  And I'll be the eccentric 80-something still seeking true love as defined by the tales and films of my youth.  Ick, that's depressing.  Enough on that - what's behind Door # 2?

On the OTHER hand, I'm hypothetically going to stumble upon somebody tomorrow or next week or next month or next year.  We're going to meet, we're going to get to know each other, and nature will take it's course.  The romantic comedy of my life will play out, my X Factor will be realized and resolved, the credits will role.  And what happens next won't be found in a script or movie or fairy tale, but for me all my dreams will come true and the ending (along with the journey) will be happy indeed...

P.S.  If anyone has the number for Audrey Tautou's agent, I have a role she'd be perfect for...   : )

Restless about lessons learned...

Greetings readers!  It's been awhile - my apologies for the extended absence.  I was out of the country for several weeks, then away again for spring break retreat with my son (his last before graduating high school), and am finally returning to some measure of normalcy.  I hope I was missed - even if but just a little...

It occurs to me that I've shared very little in this blog regarding my professional career as a recruiter.  I spend the majority of my time focusing on personal matters and opinions here which is the intended purpose.  However, given a number of recent conversations and discussions with people in and out of the office, I'm inspired to step out of the mold just slightly and offer some perspectives from my work side.

For the better part of eighteen years I've dedicated my professional efforts and energies to corporate recruiting in a professional services environment.  I've likely had contact with several million candidates over the course of my career; been involved with hiring several thousand individuals; trained thousands more on how to attract, interview and evaluate talent; and helped establish and define processes and methods that I hope have allowed the organizations and teams I've served to operate more effectively and efficiently.  My career has literally taken me around the world - I've worked on projects in Asia, Europe, the Middle East, Australia, North and South America, and the Caribbean.  Everything from entry-level recruiting at colleges/universities to executive-level recruitment negotiating multi-million dollar compensation packages - I like to think I've been around the proverbial block a few times and know a bit about my chosen craft.

I'd like to share a few of the things I've learned over the course of my career.  I don't profess to have all the answers and there are certainly persons more qualified and educated than I to offer pearls of professional or inspirational wisdom.  Still, as this topic comes up often in my meetings and conversations these days, I thought it might be time to organize a few thoughts.

Do what you love

Without question, the most valued professional advice I can offer anyone is this: find your passion and make it your profession.  I was blessed to stumble accidentally into my career and I've loved recruiting from day one.  For me, little else could offer the same social interaction, stimulation, and fulfillment than what I do every day.  And because I love it, it feels less like work and more like fun - and isn't that the point?  Consider a 40-50 hour week, multiplied by the number of weeks in the year and the probable number of years served in a career and that's the time investment we're talking about.  I can imagine nothing worse than spending that time doing something tedious or uninspired - so don't!

Wonka never worked a day in his life...

Cultivate relationships

We often hear about the power of networks in business.  How they are so critical in sales, marketing, recruitment.  I'd like to make this a bit more personal.  It's not about names in a Rolodex, it's about personal relationships with the people you interact with - colleagues, contacts, candidates, everyone.  Forming lasting relationships is one of the aspects of my job that I enjoy most.  I've known a good number of my current colleagues at Ernst & Young for close to two decades.  I've dined in their homes, we've vacationed together, they've watched my son grow up - they are family.  And family is what you want if and when possible.

Social media is great and professional networking has its place but nothing will substitute for the interpersonal relations you develop with managers, coworkers, division heads, interns, and younger talent.  Be a mentor, become a friend, make a personal positive impact with these individuals and the return will last a lifetime.  And keep these relationships active and fluid - reaching out regularly, not just when there's a need.

Make a difference

In my opinion the best part of a candidate resume is the 1-2 bullet points dedicated to what they did in  a particular role that was different than anyone else.  Not all candidates understand the importance of taking this approach and instead simply recite the basic job functions of whatever position they've previously held.  I think of job positions much like technology - they should be constantly evolving to keep pace with the demands of those that seek benefit from them.  Look at the phone, the television, the computer.  Consider how many evolutions have occurred in their design, shape, functionality, components, etc.  No matter your job title, think about what you can do to make it "job title 2.0", then "job title 3.0" and so forth.  Reexamine processes, methodology, key contacts, tools and systems, interpersonal skills - literally everything - and discover ways to make it better, smarter, more efficient.  If you love what you do, this will be a much easier exercise as passionate people tend to be better change managers in this type of endeavor.

Herb Kelleher at Southwest Airlines personified this concept!

Work hard and play hard - but at the same time

I've often heard the expression "work-life balance" and have to confess, I don't get it.  It makes it sound like the two concepts are exclusive of one another.  Why?  It doesn't have to be.  Irrespective of what you do, there are ways to make work fun, your interactions with others more stimulating, and your professional footprint more impactful.  Create a company softball team, sign up for a charity walk/run event in your area with people you work with, get involved with your corporate social responsibility initiative.  All are easy ways to blur the lines that divide work from life, labor from leisure.

And don't let what you do for a living completely define who you are.  It's an occupation and as such should occupy a considerable portion of your time and life - but it should be accompanied by hobbies, interests, and other involvements.  I've interviewed CEOs who've confessed that their biggest failures were ignoring their children and spouses during the years that mattered most; to recognizing too late that it was time they would never get back.  These are amazing men and women - names that at times appear on the front pages of the Wall Street Journal.  In short, they are people who know a thing or two about this concept and have learned too late the consequences of imbalance.  Don't fall victim to their same mistakes.

Pay it forward

No matter what you do, find opportunities to help others who are still attempting to find their professional path.  Maybe it's a more junior professional in your department, perhaps it's someone who's simply exploring career paths and is looking to better understand what it means to be in a certain profession.  Whatever the circumstance, make time to share what you've learned, what you've accomplished, and where you've fallen short.  While it might seem insignificant to you, it's invaluable to others and could help make or change a career decision, improve individual performance, impact someone else's life for the better.  I've helped to hire people who've approached me years later full of gratitude as that particular career move years earlier started them on a path to happiness and fulfillment. Take it from me - there's nothing more rewarding than those messages/conversations.

Know your craft and stay current

Let me illustrate this point with an example that's near to home.  Many people think recruiting is simply, well...recruiting.  It's been done in much the same way for years.  But is that really true?  Think about the tools and the technology used to link recruiters with talent pools.  It used to be newspaper and magazines, then agencies and headhunters, then job boards, and now social media, mobile technology, and big data are again changing the recruitment landscape.  And tracking candidates used to be managed with resume file folders, then spreadsheets, then basic databases, and now complex Applicant Tracking Systems and Candidate Relationship Management tools that feed directly into company HRIS.  I imagine the same can be said for many other professions.  How has your profession evolved?  How have the tools changed?

Become and remain educated in your chosen career path.  Study the company you work with, familiarize yourself with the overall business model, the individual service lines, your competition, the regulatory and governing bodies that oversee your particular industry, the tools that you have internally and that are available in the external market.  There's a mountain of things to learn and the mountain is constantly changing and evolving.  Be an expert, both broad and deep, and it will continue to open doors for advancement and greater opportunities to make an impact.

I'm simply a huge Branson fan...

So those are just a few thoughts from your Restless Recruiter.  I hope they inspire you, or cause you to reflect - even possibly make a change or set a goal.  They are some of the more important learnings thus far from a career spent attracting, interviewing, and hiring some amazing talent and thought leaders in the professional services arena.

Until next time...

RR

Restless about parenthood...

I'm proud of many things in my life - my career, my friendships, my family, my associations with colleagues (okay, my dating track record leaves a little to be desired but that is a work-in-progress and I was out of action for a number of years so cut me a little slack).  But seriously, of all the accomplishments I think of in my personal and professional life, nothing affords me greater happiness than my role as a father.

Ever since I was a kid I longed to be a dad - to be the kind of man my father was to me and to have the kind of relationship and friendship with a child like I so fondly remember from my youth.  To laugh together, offer advice (and hopefully wisdom on occasion), to do things - anything and everything - together, and to be the best of friends.  My dad was my hero - plain and simple.  And I wanted to be somebody's hero, too.

Like a little doll...

I was richly blessed with a happy and healthy son.  I still remember the day he was born.  He came early - some three weeks premature.  He was so small, so fragile, yet so alive.  I remember commenting to my parents at the awesomeness of procreation - how indescribable the feeling to know that I had taken part in creating that little body and giving it life.  To know that my ex-wife and I had made that little guy is still humbling and surreal and miraculous.

Fast forward.  I am the proud, beaming papa of a tall, lanky, 18-year old named Kellen.    He is in a word - awesome, albeit a little hairier and smellier than the baby from the last paragraph but ever the miracle.  He is in many ways a "miniature me" - similar tastes in reading, food, sports teams, etc.  And yet, he is so completely opposite me in other ways - personality, interests, career ambitions, etc.  He is a juxtaposition of the Restless Recruiter's yin and yang - both what I am and what I am not - and I couldn't be more pleased.  And yet...

Kellen and his cousin - when binkies were cool...

This year will mark a number of key milestones in my son's life.  First, he recently completed his Eagle Scout, the first in our family to ever achieve this distinction.  This year he graduates from high school - that key time in a young person's life signaling the end of childhood and the beginning of adulthood.  Later this year my son will begin serving a two-year mission for the church.  We've no idea where he might be called to serve.  I was sent to Brazil for my mission, my brother to Chicago, our friends to countless other locations, domestic and abroad.  He could literally be called to serve anywhere around the globe.  And finally, prior to departing for his mission, we'll be submitting applications for colleges/universities where he hopes to attend following his missionary program.  And all this will take place over the next nine months.

Father and son - when Hugh Grant hair was cool, apparently...

Now I could easily launch into an introspective rant against the passage of time - where did the years go, our children grow up so quickly - but I'd rather focus on the excitement of the moments still to come.  The thrill of knowing my son is now a young man, armed with the opportunity to go into the world and stake his claim.  It's a time of reflection.  Have I taught him what he needs to know?  Have I prepared him for what lies ahead?  Is he ready to stand on his own?  I can't help but think back on my maturity level at that age - just 19 and seemingly without a clue.  Is it just me or does my son seem so much more ready to tackle these challenges than I was?  So much more comfortable in his own skin?  I'm so excited for him to experience the great learnings and social interactions that impact a missionary serving his fellow man.  The service, the charity, the hard work - all will serve to build and shape character.  To enable him to see firsthand the value in giving yourself to God in faith - in allowing Him to make of my child what He will - and only He can.  Where will he serve?  Where will he attend college?  So many questions - and so many answers yet to be written...

My son, the future rocket scientist...

Sadly, I realize we'll shortly be closing a chapter in our relationship together.  A very special chapter as I think about our summer traditions, our Spring Break vacations, my relentless nagging and insistence he submit his high school homework on time (sorry, big guy - I meant well).  The little man from so many photographs and memories now stands two inches taller than his old man (yet still infinitely skinnier so...).  And he's so grown up.  And he's quiet, thoughtful, creative, and reserved - yet filled with an inquisitive mind, a desire to help others, and the same sweet spirit I remember since he smiled during the APGAR test within his first hour of mortality.

I can only imagine that the months ahead hold many tearful moments of nostalgia for me - of watching my boy truly become a man, of seeing him go out into the world to be a teacher, a missionary, an example to others.  I'm going to be an empty-nester in a more official capacity.  This will be our last summer before mission, college, career, and who-knows-what else.  I hope I've done enough - spent the time with him and had the experiences that will serve as a foundation for the rest of his life.  And I hope I've built enough memories to serve as a reserve against the many months of separation that will see us apart.  It's been so hard already having months of separation each year following the divorce.  I only hope I'm ready to go two whole years without his presence.

Kellen in the adult size...

My advice to all the parents out there is to not take a moment for granted in the relationships with your children.  Love them, play with them, pay attention to them.  The return on that investment is far richer than any stock purchase or bonus, more valuable than any portfolio or possession.  Because at the end of the day, I love my son and I know he loves me - what more could I possibly want...  

Restless about Resolutions...

Happy New Year!  For several years now I've honored the tradition of spending at least part of the winter holiday in the warmth and comfort of the Caribbean.  This year was no exception as I recently returned from a scuba holiday in the Bahamas.  Imagine eight glorious days spent sailing around the Exuma Cays, twenty-two dives (including a midnight dive on New Year's Eve to ring in 2013), great food, warm weather, salty sea air, and an endless supply of Jack Reacher novels (I'm considering a "bromance" with Lee Child).  And I returned from my trip a Master Scuba Diver - a firm and fixed goal I had set earlier in the year that I was strongly committed to accomplishing.

That general concept of goal-setting each year is what I had hoped to reflect upon here.  That time-honored January tradition of the New Year's resolution.  Perhaps a few minutes on the history and then some perspective?  Let's dance...

Through the Ages

Celebrating the reset of the annual calendar and, with it, the concept of resolutions finds its recorded origins dating back to around 2000 B.C.  Babylonians held festivals and marked the beginnings of each new year by promising their gods to pay off debtors and return any borrowed items to their lenders.  Similarly, the Romans began each year by making promises to their god, Janus (where January got it's name), whose two faces symbolized beginnings and endings.

Specifically in American history, about 25% of American adults established New Year's resolutions at the end of the Great Depression.  Compare that number with approximately 40% of Americans who made resolutions during Y2K.  A University of Scranton study published this past year indicated 45% of Americans usually make New Year resolutions.  I can only hope that number will continue to rise each year as we (openly or privately) find a few moments during the season to reflect on ourselves, areas for growth or improvement, and opportunities to transform individual weaknesses into strengths.

Consider also that the objective focus of resolutions has evolved over time much like the traditions surrounding the New Year.  In the 1800s, typical New Year resolutions targeted good works: becoming less self-centered, more helpful, improving one's internal character.  By the year 2000, the majority of annual goals trended more towards overall appearance, body image, health, and diet.

The Numbers ain't Pretty

And how do we fare in actually achieving our annual goals?  We stink at it, unfortunately.  A 2007 University of Bristol study found that 88% of those who established resolutions failed, often within the first two months.  The 2012 University of Scranton study (mentioned above) indicated that only 8% of those surveyed reported achieving their resolutions from previous years.  There's tremendous opportunity and room for improvement, I guess.

Let us not be deterred, however, in the pursuit of this most noble of exercises and fond traditions.  Whether you're aspiring to live life more fully, be more thrifty with your finances, become more organized, achieve new levels of fitness or overall health, kick an unhealthy or unwelcome habit (smoking, unnecessary ranting, etc.), or be a more active contributor to helping the less fortunate - the annual tradition of establishing resolutions is an excellent exercise in self-reflection, self-improvement, and self-awareness.  It allows us to establish personal order in our lives, to retake some measure of control from the external demands of work, civic responsibilities, social media, mind-numbing television, and other pulls for our time and attention.

You've Got Mail

I have an older brother, an Air Force pilot who's been a role model, the family story-teller, and personal source of admiration for years.  Rob epitomizes what an older brother can and should be to a younger brother, but one of the traits he possesses that I most respect is his commitment to self-improvement on his own terms.  Rob is a big proponent of goals.  One of the traditions he started recently (several years ago) is writing a letter to himself in the third person at the start of each year.  In it, he reflects back on the previous year, what he was able to accomplish in terms of his annual resolutions, where he fell short and why, and some reflective observation about how and why he went astray.  He then uses the second half of the letter to establish his resolutions for the upcoming year.  What's more, he approaches this by first establishing some key themes - general concepts that he feels are important (e.g., get healthier) and then adding a series of specific daily, weekly or sometimes monthly action items that allow him to measure his progress against the larger resolutions (e.g., exercise 30 minutes daily, run 5 miles each week, etc.).

What's also great about the letters is he keeps them in his journal and reviews them throughout the year for an occasional reminder or to share with those close in his life to rally their support and participation in helping him achieve his annual ambitions.  I think it's a novel approach, not one I had heard before, and I admire his discipline and resolve to measuring his progress in pursuit of being a better man.

Good luck with your goals and resolutions in the New Year.  No matter your approach or tradition, may you find success on your journey to health, wealth, friendship, service, and charity in 2013.  Until next time!

Stealing from Santa...

It's Christmas time!  The much anticipated holiday when we all (old and young) eagerly await the arrival of our cherubic hero, Santa, seated regally on his magical sleigh ever committed to that impossible task of visiting each and every home and showering us with the magic of the season - gifts and stockings laden with the returns from our holiday wishes.  Our families and friends all gathered together to celebrate with feast and fellowship, for this is Christmas!  Everywhere you turn there is evidence of the season - inflated snowmen and lit reindeer adorn front yards; lights, wreaths, and bows outline many homes; and decorated trees, garland and holiday candles furnish many of our homes and offices as witness to our participation in this grand event.  Across the country, Salvation Army representatives - "Santa's Soldiers" - collect donations and ring their magical bells.  Our nation's malls, bulging with frantic shoppers, herald their masses with music celebrating Santa, Frosty, and Rudolph.  Inside you can almost picture the veritable miles of lines of children awaiting their hopeful chance to sit on Santa's lap, share their magical wish for Christmas, and receive a candy cane and picture with jolly ol' St. Nick.  Truly magical!

Imagine a poor family arriving into your town just prior to the holiday from a faraway land.  A family that has never participated in our festivities and holiday celebration.  A family to whom each tree and wreath and Santa is foreign and not understood.  Imagine seeing them staring in disbelief and wonder at the flurry of activity before them - the lights and the music and the crowds.  How would you explain to them our holiday preparation and celebration?  How would you convey the story of Santa dressed in his red and white?  Of reindeer and chimneys and gifts wrapped in bows?  Of snowmen and Christmas elves and red nosed-reindeer?  Imagine the parents, curious and humble and awe-struck by the decorations and music and parties and food.  Now picture their son, almost a man, quiet and observant, his hair long and slightly unkempt, his hands and feet rough and worn from the journey.  And as you go to shake his hand, you feel the imprints of nail marks that once brutally pierced his palms and wrists.  What would your explanation be?

I propose that we could all benefit from being a bit more naughty this year in the eyes of Santa Claus.  That we dedicate ourselves to stealing a bit of his thunder and his celebration and giving it instead to this family of foreigners.  I think their story is equally magical and awe-inspiring - worthy of our time, attention, and praise - perhaps even our celebration.  Let's take a closer look at each of the members of this special family:

The Woman

It's like a headline from any newspaper in the country.  A young woman, single and not working, engaged to be married - finds herself pregnant.  The man she is to marry is not the father.  She lives in a land and at a time where such an act and offense is punishable by stoning, or death, or banishment.  Imagine having to explain your circumstance and condition to your soon-to-be husband.  Imagine the fear and frustration and faith needed to have such a conversation with him, with his family, with your friends and neighbors.  She's with child and faces a future of uncertainty, potential ridicule and public humiliation, and pain.  This is Mary.

The Man

Now picture the man, employed and respected in his community, in love with a woman he looks forward to marrying.  And she comes to him prior to the marriage and she's pregnant.  And she claims it's a miracle as she's still a virgin and that the father is God.  Putting this story and situation in modern-day perspective, what reaction might we expect from this man?  Anger?  Heartbreak?  Disbelief?  Now see the man believing the woman and taking her as his wife.  See them departing their homeland to travel over mountain and plain for tax obligations.  And the man is unprepared - he doesn't have lodging for their journey.  His wife is tired, hungry, in pain and he has neither the means nor the reservations to provide her a bed or pillow, scarcely enough for a meal.  He's forced to seek shelter in a barn, placing his wife amongst the cattle and sheep, the musty and dank smells of hay and poop and barnyard animals.  But he loves his wife and does his best to make her comfortable and warm.  This is Joseph.

The Child

And their baby is born.  There in that small town of Bethlehem in that barn near an inn, in those poorest and humblest of circumstances.  No bed, no blankets, no epidurals, no sterilized equipment, not even a doctor or nurse present to assist.  Miraculously he makes it.  And he's healthy, and happy, and strong.  And he's different.  He is perfect, without blemish, without flaw, without complaint, without sin.  And almost immediately he is hunted by those in power, believing in signs and prophecies that he poses a risk to their claims of nobility.  And other children around him are murdered by soldiers owing loyalty to those in power.  So Mary and Joseph, loving their son, keep him in hiding, fleeing their homeland and country to protect their young son.  And he has few toys.  And he has fewer friends.  And he is often alone.  This is Jesus.

Room for Both

So let us keep our traditions, our celebrations, our festivities.  I don't suggest that there is harm in Santa, or Rudolph, or Frosty.  I simply believe we need to steal back a little of the time and attention granted to St. Nick and return it to its rightful owners.  To remind ourselves of the miracles that occurred on this day of celebration, and to recall the cast of characters that played an important role in that miraculous story.  To remind ourselves of that foreign family visiting us at Christmas time - the mother, the father, and child.  And to make sure our holiday season and the traditions we offer our families and children are more than just snowmen and stockings and Santa.

Away in a manger,

no crib for his bed,

The little Lord Jesus

laid down his sweet head;

The stars in the heavens

looked down where he lay,

The little Lord Jesus, asleep on the hay.

Merry Christmas, everyone!  May the spirit of the season touch us all.  May we pause to remember and pray for those 26 souls and their families, including 20 precious children, whose lives were cut short.  But may we also take comfort in the fact that they are returned to their Savior, whose birth we celebrate this season.  God bless...

Restless about cruise ships...

Greeting, readers!

Did you miss me?!  Were you longing for some rhetoric and banter?  It's funny how therapeutic and medicinal these entries have become - I only hope you miss reading them during my absence as much as I miss writing to you...

So I've recently returned from my first-ever cruise experience.  Departing the Port of Galveston, my brother and I sailed on the Carnival Magic for seven days at sea in the Western Caribbean with stops in Jamaica, Cayman, and Cozumel.  Rather than regale you with details about the ship, itinerary, and experiences, I thought instead it might be fun to share a few of my observations on human behavior whilst traveling at sea in a floating hotel.  It'll definitely be more juicy with the added possibility of some sarcasm and cynicism thrown in.  Let's begin...

Caste system on a cruise-ship

The first thing that becomes readily apparent is the social darwinism evident on a cruise ship.  There are various levels of experience quality, depending on how much you're willing to pay, that impact enormously on every facet of your experience at sea.  Price determines the quality of your stateroom, its size and appointments, which deck you'll be assigned for said accommodations (apparently higher up is better), where you are seated in the dining rooms, your eligibility for certain onboard experiences, and the list goes on and on.  Every passenger is issued a card which they must keep on their possession at all times and the cards are different colors, depending on your class of stateroom.  It felt like some twisted socio-political experiment - like something out of an Ayn Rand novel.  I couldn't help but think of the movie, "Titanic", and wondering if my blue card meant I would be offered space in the lifeboats or if I my brother and I would be used as ballast.

Didn't have one of these...

Gluttony is alive and well

One of the more fascinating aspects of being on a cruise ship is the meal system.  Breakfast and lunch are typically served in a massive buffet-style dining room with open seating where you come and go as you please and eat whatever you like.  Dinners are taken in a restaurant where you are seated by a hostess and order from a menu.  I was shocked at what I observed during breakfast and lunch - there truly are no other words.  I occasionally read or listen to news reports about the overconsumption habits of Americans with respect to food but to see it on such a large-scale was downright scary.  I observed persons literally eating 3-4 large plates of food in one sitting, each stacked 8+ inches high with everything imaginable, all drowned in ketchup or syrup or barbecue sauce or whatever condiment suited the situation.  It almost appeared to be an unspoken contest to see who could consume the most with records silently being set daily.  And the gluttony knew no age - there were adolescents easily keeping pace with their parents.

This guy would have fit right in...

I contrast this observation with the lack of overcrowding in the ship's fitness center all week and it was for me sad and a bit depressing.  It brought to mind visions of previous civilizations (like the Romans) with obese toga-laden nobles prostrate with trays of meat and fruit unable to so much as walk a flight of stairs without assistance whilst being entertained by gladiators or some other spectacle.  With that in mind, let me share that the ship offered a casino, daily bingo, and a "hairiest chest" contest (thankfully with only male participants) - and you can understand why Caesar would've been proud.

Different strokes for different folks

It was also fascinating to observe the cruising habits (and priorities) of different passengers.  Not surprisingly, there were several sub-communities as evident by how and where they spent the majority of their time.  The gamblers literally never left the casino area of the ship during operating hours and migrated for food/sleep when the casino was closed.  The sun-worshippers were found in constant vigil around the pool, having picked out the ideal spot to receive direct sun from 10am-4pm daily.  The gluttons rarely left the buffet dining room.  The gamers spent most of the day on the top deck with table tennis, pool, and miniature golf.  The bingo-fanatics (well, you get the idea).  It was funny how I would run into the same passengers sitting in the same sections/seats literally morning, noon, and night throughout the cruise.  Then there were the "Carpe Diems", like myself, who wanted to try literally everything - for me because it was my first experience on a cruise ship and I refused to miss anything.  Shows, casino, pool, dance club, fitness center, spa, art shop, comedy club - there was so much to do and so little time.  The ship offered an extremely varied itinerary of activities to choose from - even workshops and lectures for the educationally-minded - and you were never bored.

What I enjoyed most...

Time with my brother, the gentle movement of the ship, sunsets from our stateroom, reading on the balcony with the sound of the ocean, swimming with stingrays, holding baby sea turtles, massages at sea, frosty drinks with a good book and the sun on my face, towels folded into animal shapes each day in our stateroom by the housekeeping staff, being back in the Caribbean, checking another item off my bucket list...

A different animal each day - very cool!

 

Restless around Thanksgiving...

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Greetings, everyone!

Just a quick note to wish all of you a happy and healthy Thanksgiving holiday weekend.  I successfully survived not one, not two but THREE Thanksgiving meals this year - another reminder of how blessed I am to have amazing family and friends who are hell-bent on keeping me from achieving my weight goals (I'm trying to avoid looking like the turkey pictured above).

On Wednesday night we had a Thanksgiving celebration with my grandmother who has traveled the world, working in embassies and for the military attaches overseas.  She's still going strong and insisted I have seconds of everything (I love grandmas!).  On Thanksgiving Day my dad flew mom and I to Winnsboro, SC in the Cessna 182 to spend a lovely afternoon with my grandfather who suffered a stroke two years ago the day before Thanksgiving.  He still hasn't regained the power of speech but the love and wisdom that pours from that man requires no voice.  We zipped home (only an hour flight) and I was able to join Miaka and Rich (best friends) in the home of Steve and Sheelagh Cafferky (volunteers at the horse rescue) for yet another amazing feast.  It was great to spend the holiday surrounded by people I admire and adore and who have been so good to me for so many years.  I pray each of you had similar experiences this holiday.  And then, of course, my beloved Cowboys choked royally and lost to the Redskins.  There is no justice!

I'm leaving for the airport shortly to embark (with my older brother) on my first-ever cruise.  Leaving port from Galveston, we'll spend seven (fingers-crossed) sun-filled days aboard the Carnival Magic (pray for no food poisoning) where we'll hit Montego Bay, Jamaica (ATV jungle tour); Grand Cayman (swim with the rays and sea turtles); and Cozumel (two scuba dives) before returning back to Galveston.

My bags are packed, dive bag is ready, and my new camera promises photo-documentation of the adventure.  Stay tuned - details from the trip to the follow...

RR

Are there icebergs in the Western Caribbean??

Restless about drivers behaving badly...

Before I begin today's entry, allow me a brief departure to comment on several observations I received this past week from readers via Facebook.  A few of you expressed concern that I seem unusually upset as a writer or that I carry a lot of anger evidenced by the content or themes of my posts.  Let me assure you that I'm as happy as a puppy in a fire hydrant factory.  My rants are, for me, an alternative to exhaust a little frustration (and yes, at times, impatience) with the world around me.  I have little tolerance for ineptitude, inconsideration, and incompetence (surprise surprise) and it's liberating to occasionally put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and say aloud what I imagine most are thinking.  I hope you find familiarity or common ground in my rants.  That, like me, you hope for an improvement in behavior from the general populace.  I hope that clears things up a bit.  If not, you might want to reconsider reading on because the remainder of this post ain't gonna be pretty...   : )

Good morning, readers!  I trust you all had a relaxing and restful weekend, took a moment to hug a veteran (if not, it's never too late), and are preparing for a week of new opportunities.  For many of you, this will include preparing for the morning commute.  With all due respect, please accept my best wishes.  I say this for two reasons.  First, I have the luxury of working from my home office and, as such, won't be joining you in this daily exercise.  Secondly, I know what (and worse, who) you'll be facing and it's a most unenviable task.

Needing to wake up, Harry thought a splash of water might do the trick...

The daily commute.  There was a time in my career where I was a reluctant participant in this everyday ritual.  Where with the masses I would enter my vehicle (sometimes alone and sometimes with a ride-share buddy) and begrudgingly share the clogged arteries of our city with countless others from the suburbs to the heart of Atlanta and inevitably reverse the process every evening.  During these processions I would see all manner of lunacy - people driving while reading a paperback, people dozing off behind the wheel, women applying makeup whilst operating their vehicles; people texting, talking, singing, yelling at other drivers or simply yelling at nothing in particular - all part of the daily madness.  On some mornings we would count as many 4 or 5 separate accidents, all within the span of 15 or so miles of interstate.  Again, I feel your pain.

If I had a nickel...

When did we become so overrun with horrible drivers?  It's like the dumbing down blog entry, only this time they're armed with vehicles.  It seems you can't make a quick trip to the gas station or grocery store or movie theater without risking some near-death experience that makes you scratch your head and say a small prayer for simpler times and better motorists.  As a public service, I felt it important to take a moment and categorize some of these morons into groupings.  My hope is this will make it easier for you to identify them early enough in the commute and offer them a wide berth.  Make no mistake - these organisms are dumb and dangerous and most assuredly life-threatening.

Idiots in migratory pattern...

• The talkers/texters:  The "talkers" are easy to identify as they'll often be spotted with one hand in a fixed position to their head and their elbow resting comfortably on the door.  The texters can be a little more challenging to spot as they often attempt to mask their behavior.  They'll either be seen with one hand on the wheel and the other off to the side (out of view) with their head swiveling back and forth.  Alternatively, they'll have both hands (and attention) focused down in their laps, looking like they've just discovered the existence of their genitalia.  They'll be steering with their knees, their concentration fully on what's in their lap with the occasional furtive glance to the roadway.  Needless to say it's impossible for most people to concentrate on more than one thing at a time (for many, even one object is a struggle) so don't be surprised if they swerve or drive extremely slow/fast, flirting with the bumpers and fenders and side-panels of the vehicles in their immediate vicinity.
• The pilots: These are the motorists who confuse the highway for a runway, thinking that those little dotted lines separating the lanes of traffic are supposed to be kept beneath the center of their vehicle while driving.  You know the type.  They're half in your lane and half in someone else's with no attempt to correct themselves.  The only problem is that the imaginary plane they're operating is never going to actually take off so they're stuck on the tarmac with the rest of us.  And it's not really a plane, it's a car.  And it's not really a tarmac, it's Interstate 85.  And you're not really a pilot, you're inept.  Pick a lane, please.

Okay, maybe cars CAN fly...

• The color-blind: Red, amber, green.  Red, amber, green.  Each color means something completely different and is intended to signal a necessary action/behavior for the motorist approaching a stop-light.  Not for these morons!  Apparently for these choice few, red and amber also mean green.  Additionally, each of the colors is to them merely a suggestion rather than an actual law so there's no telling how they're going to react.  This of course means that for the rest of us red, amber and green all essentially mean some form of red or amber to avoid getting T-boned at the next intersection.  Color me unamused...
• The Lance Armstrongs: I'm not opposed to cyclists.  I have nothing against people committed to their fitness who choose to take out their 10-speed and use it to stay in shape.  Often times, they'll adopt pack behavior, cycling in small to mid-sized flocks.  But here's the thing.  Your bike is not nor will ever be an actual car!  It's not even a motorcycle or a moped.  And my neighborhood isn't the official training ground of the Tour de France.  So take your bike and get over to the far right side of the road (or bike path, or heaven forbid the abandoned sidewalk) and feel free to ride your bike all the live long day.  Don't plant yourself in the middle of the lane like you own the road and pedal 5 miles an hour in a 45mph zone.  Or weave back and forth from the right to the left side of the lane like some NASCAR driver getting a feel for the steering column prior to a race.  You're on a bike.  And I'm in a car.  Being followed by several dozen additional people, also in cars.  And we're not impressed.  By the way, last year's winner of the actual Tour de France - you know, the skinny non-doping amazing cyclist from Great Britain, Bradley Wiggins?  He was recently hit by a car whilst training on his bike in England.  And trust me, you're not as good as him...
•  The "what the hell are you doing in the fast lane-ers": If you choose the right label, very little explanation is really necessary.  Move over, please.    : )
• The minimalists:  These individuals are intent on driving the absolute slowest allowed by law in any area.  They are 45 mph on the interstates, 15 mph in 45 mph zones, and they likely get out and push their vehicles from behind around schools and supermarkets.  They're either ultra-defensive, concerned that their reaction skills have dulled and want to allow 5-10 minutes of reaction time for when the vehicle ahead brakes, or they're driving without a license/insurance and are making it too completely obvious that they're feeling the need to drive within the confines of the legal limits.  If you find yourself behind one of these individuals, probably best to pull over, grab a snack for say 15-20 minutes, and resume your journey.
• (Readers, I need your help with this one): I can't think of an appropriate title for this but have you seen the drivers that are right up against the steering wheel while operating their vehicle?  They have the seat as far forward as possible with maybe an inch of clearance between their chest and the wheel, their noses practically touching the windshield.  I'm not being sexist but they're often female (although I have seen a guy or two in this position) and all ages.  If you know what I'm talking about, help me come up with a label for this group.  And I should add that I don't consider this particular genus to be bad drivers - I simply don't understand how you can be comfortable or able to effectively operate your vehicle in that position.  If you happen to be a member of this genus, please help me understand what this is about.  It looks horribly uncomfortable and it would appear impossible for you to be able to swerve if the need arose.

Need your help to label the "steering wheel huggers"...

So there you have it.  Just a few of the delightful companions you'll encounter on your roads and highways this morning.  So enjoy that soda or cup of coffee or whatever your beverage of preference, grip the wheel just a wee bit tighter, increase the volume of your favorite tunes or radio station ever so slightly, and prepare for the adventure.  Savor the proximity to the worst our nation's DMV has to offer.  And, don't worry, even if you miss them today, they're bound to make an appearance tomorrow.  Buckle up!!!

Restless about the dumbing down of America...

I'm disgusted.  Confused.  Frustrated.  Upset.  I've woken up and I no longer recognize the country I live in and the people I'm surrounded by.  It's a bit like the scene in "The Wizard of Oz" immediately following the tornado where Dorothy awakes to a completely new world - everything flashy and fantastic and in technicolor - a color-filled dream escaping the black & white monotony of corn-filled Kansas.  Except in my version, I've awoken to this surreal alternate reality where people's interests and priorities are all askew.  Where we amble around like zombies from one nonsensical popular movement to another.  Let the rant begin...

Now, before some of my readers get the wrong idea, this is not about today's election or the candidates or the campaigning - although there's an angle to that issue that factors in here.  No, this is more about what we've allowed ourselves to become in the US as evidenced by the programs we watch, the manner in which we allow ourselves to be influenced in every way as individuals despite our free agency, and the consequences of the choices and decisions we've made as a whole.  

Some examples?  Have a glance at this brief list of television shows now or recently appearing on networks across this once great nation:

• Jersey Shore (unfortunately NOT about the impact of Hurricane Sandy)
• Desperate Housewives of (insert city here)
• To Catch a Predator (televises people getting busted trying to have sex with minors)
• Living Lohan (chronicles the daily life of a moronic and unattractive partying addict)
• Who's Your Daddy? (contestant has to choose from 25 adults as to which is the actual parent)
• Keeping up with the Kardashians (who cares...)
• Here Comes Honey Boo Boo (I don't even have words to describe this crap)

Much of this I imagine evolved from our country's former fixation with the dysfunctional and disorderly.  Remember "Jerry Springer", "Montel Williams", and "Maury"?  How the hosts of these shows would parade guest after guest to discuss anything from adultery to racial hatred to bigotry to the question of paternal responsibility?  How many episodes ended in a fist-fight, women clawing at each other, hurling explicatives, and being forcibly removed by the same hefty "studio security" henchmen?  I used to hate those shows for the filth they felt passed as entertainment or news when it occurred to me -- these weren't influencers, these were reactionaries.  Circus directors, parading act after act of depravity, merely providing what the masses demanded.  What, then, does that say about us, the viewing public in this country?

When did we become so collectively stupid?  When did the garbage on television become our viewing preference?  What happened to make our society laud and worship idiots like Lohan and the Kardashians and all the rest as people worthy of our attention, our praise, our viewership translating them into veritable icons of adoration?  When did we allow our athletes to achieve a status beyond reproach and above the moral laws and standards we suggest we want for our children?  What happened to allow us as a nation to become so desensitized to young people with guns shooting up a school or a movie theater, to violence and abuse against women, to the sexual predation and violation of our minors, to infants being abandoned in dumpsters?  Is this the American dream?

There's an election today.  How many Americans truly know what's at stake?  What the real issues are?  What the track record looks like for both candidates?  How many in this country will make their election choice based on their own dutiful research vs. the latest SNL sketch or Jon Stewart sound byte?  How few in this country know the names of the cabinet secretaries, the majority and minority whips, the impact of proposed legislation from the past quarter?  

When do we say enough is enough and again retake the mantle of responsibility and accountability?  For seeing most of the reality TV crap for what it truly is - CRAP - unworthy of our attention and viewership?  For taking an active and informed role in the decisions being made by our elected officials and holding them responsible for poor decisions because WE believe them to be poor - not because some moron on a program says so?  For telling the NFL or NBA or NHL or whatever other sport of preference that we're not going to show up to watch juiced-up athletes who are beating/cheating on their wives, selling drugs, or holding out for more money?  That we want to see athletes who play for the love of the game, and owners who don't exploit them (or us) unfairly?

If history teaches us anything it reveals that there is power in numbers.  A giant powerful wave is still made up of individual drops of water.  The power and force comes from those individual drops operating together with singularity of purpose and focus.  We can turn the tide of stupidity and tolerance for what's happening and we can take back our airwaves, our television, our society.  We can insist that our networks report on the actual news and educate and inform us about the things that truly matter - the billion people on the planet without access to clean drinking water, the genocide in Darfur and what's really behind it, potential voter fraud and what can be done about it, how we can help with the recovery efforts in New York and New Jersey, what happened in Libya to our ambassador and the soldiers killed irrespective of who or what it might implicate.  It's their job, it's what we should hold them accountable for.  And if they intentionally mislead us or provide false information, they should be fired - period.  It's supposed to be the news, not the soapbox for partisan opinion or propaganda.

Let's demand shows like CNN Heroes - programming that chronicles human achievement, the best that's within us.  Shows that inspire, that drive us to be better people - not that mock or ridicule the less fortunate.  Let's get back to promoting athletes like Roger Maris, Cal Ripken Jr., David Robinson, Tim Duncan, the Mannings - athletes who strive for natural perfection in their sport, who want to be role models for our young people, who play and live with respect, honor, and work ethic.

I want to wake up tomorrow to the America I once knew - either when I was less tainted or more innocent and naive.  I want to be proud again of our country's collective values and the example we can and should be to other nations.  I want Cheers and Family Ties and the Cosby Show and Carol Burnett and programming that doesn't offend or embarrass me.  I want Walter Cronkite and Andy Rooney and truly investigative and unbiased journalism.  

Come on, America.  Let's wake up and go get our nation back...