Restless about cruise ships...

Greeting, readers!

Did you miss me?!  Were you longing for some rhetoric and banter?  It's funny how therapeutic and medicinal these entries have become - I only hope you miss reading them during my absence as much as I miss writing to you...

So I've recently returned from my first-ever cruise experience.  Departing the Port of Galveston, my brother and I sailed on the Carnival Magic for seven days at sea in the Western Caribbean with stops in Jamaica, Cayman, and Cozumel.  Rather than regale you with details about the ship, itinerary, and experiences, I thought instead it might be fun to share a few of my observations on human behavior whilst traveling at sea in a floating hotel.  It'll definitely be more juicy with the added possibility of some sarcasm and cynicism thrown in.  Let's begin...

Caste system on a cruise-ship

The first thing that becomes readily apparent is the social darwinism evident on a cruise ship.  There are various levels of experience quality, depending on how much you're willing to pay, that impact enormously on every facet of your experience at sea.  Price determines the quality of your stateroom, its size and appointments, which deck you'll be assigned for said accommodations (apparently higher up is better), where you are seated in the dining rooms, your eligibility for certain onboard experiences, and the list goes on and on.  Every passenger is issued a card which they must keep on their possession at all times and the cards are different colors, depending on your class of stateroom.  It felt like some twisted socio-political experiment - like something out of an Ayn Rand novel.  I couldn't help but think of the movie, "Titanic", and wondering if my blue card meant I would be offered space in the lifeboats or if I my brother and I would be used as ballast.

Didn't have one of these...

Gluttony is alive and well

One of the more fascinating aspects of being on a cruise ship is the meal system.  Breakfast and lunch are typically served in a massive buffet-style dining room with open seating where you come and go as you please and eat whatever you like.  Dinners are taken in a restaurant where you are seated by a hostess and order from a menu.  I was shocked at what I observed during breakfast and lunch - there truly are no other words.  I occasionally read or listen to news reports about the overconsumption habits of Americans with respect to food but to see it on such a large-scale was downright scary.  I observed persons literally eating 3-4 large plates of food in one sitting, each stacked 8+ inches high with everything imaginable, all drowned in ketchup or syrup or barbecue sauce or whatever condiment suited the situation.  It almost appeared to be an unspoken contest to see who could consume the most with records silently being set daily.  And the gluttony knew no age - there were adolescents easily keeping pace with their parents.

This guy would have fit right in...

I contrast this observation with the lack of overcrowding in the ship's fitness center all week and it was for me sad and a bit depressing.  It brought to mind visions of previous civilizations (like the Romans) with obese toga-laden nobles prostrate with trays of meat and fruit unable to so much as walk a flight of stairs without assistance whilst being entertained by gladiators or some other spectacle.  With that in mind, let me share that the ship offered a casino, daily bingo, and a "hairiest chest" contest (thankfully with only male participants) - and you can understand why Caesar would've been proud.

Different strokes for different folks

It was also fascinating to observe the cruising habits (and priorities) of different passengers.  Not surprisingly, there were several sub-communities as evident by how and where they spent the majority of their time.  The gamblers literally never left the casino area of the ship during operating hours and migrated for food/sleep when the casino was closed.  The sun-worshippers were found in constant vigil around the pool, having picked out the ideal spot to receive direct sun from 10am-4pm daily.  The gluttons rarely left the buffet dining room.  The gamers spent most of the day on the top deck with table tennis, pool, and miniature golf.  The bingo-fanatics (well, you get the idea).  It was funny how I would run into the same passengers sitting in the same sections/seats literally morning, noon, and night throughout the cruise.  Then there were the "Carpe Diems", like myself, who wanted to try literally everything - for me because it was my first experience on a cruise ship and I refused to miss anything.  Shows, casino, pool, dance club, fitness center, spa, art shop, comedy club - there was so much to do and so little time.  The ship offered an extremely varied itinerary of activities to choose from - even workshops and lectures for the educationally-minded - and you were never bored.

What I enjoyed most...

Time with my brother, the gentle movement of the ship, sunsets from our stateroom, reading on the balcony with the sound of the ocean, swimming with stingrays, holding baby sea turtles, massages at sea, frosty drinks with a good book and the sun on my face, towels folded into animal shapes each day in our stateroom by the housekeeping staff, being back in the Caribbean, checking another item off my bucket list...

A different animal each day - very cool!